I grew up in the church (a very large church) and I remember stories whispered about women whose husbands were beating them. Through the years I heard the whispers in other churches. Some of the batterers were even officers of the church, yet I never heard one sermon condemning it. I never heard one pastor speak about it from the pulpit. Why the silence when clearly this is a sin against the body of Christ.
I've heard many sermons on Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,". and many on the first part of Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the head of the wife." The remainder of the text is left out "even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the SAVIOUR of the body." Not the abuser of the in or of the body.
Also, left out is Ephesians 5:21 "Submitting yourselves on to another in the fear of God."
Let’s take a quick look at the whole passage.
Ephesians 5:21 - 33
21. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Let’s consider a few things in these verses:
God has charged the husband to:
- Have the qualities of leadership that is life giving (v. 23)
- The church is subject to a loving, protecting, kind, gentle, . . . saviour. The husband is to be like Christ in all things so that wives can trust them in everything. (v. 24)
- The love of Christ for the church was totally unselfish and sacrificial. Christ gave his very life for the church; endured suffering and pain for the church. He never inflicted pain on the church. He never abused the church.
- 26 Offer cleansing and strength to your family through the constant bathing of the family in the Word of God (v. 26)
- Let your wife’s appearance and countenance reflect the beauty and love with which you care for her (without spot, wrinkle or blemish) without bruises, broken bones and a broken spirit (v. 27)
- Treat her like you treat yourself. You don’t flog yourself. You don’t throw yourselves down the stairs. You don’t allow someone to beat you up. (vss 28, 29)
- Understand that when you abuse your wives, you abuse Christ (v. 30)
- Understand that to abuse your wife is to abuse yourself. The damage you do to her physically, emotionally and psychologically, you inflict upon yourself as well. You may walk away from the violent episode, feeling the victor, bearing no scars, but they will manifest in you because (bone of your bone) you have done this to yourself. (v.31)
- Think about it. What woman would not respect a man who reflects the very Christ of her salvation.
Now, again, I ask the questions: Why has the church maintained silence about domestic violence?
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