If you are contemplating seperation or divorce, step back for awhile and don't make any decisions!

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Permalink Reply by Robert J Thompson on December 4, 2010 at 2:01pm

Amen! The advice to step back and reassess the situation is well given in this case. While the person is disengaged from the situation, it would help for them to truly study God's word regarding separation and divorce and reflect upon God's principles and precepts regarding these two challenges to healthy relationships in marriage, and also remarriage, because it is a possibility in the long run. God hates divorce and will never dissolve His relationship with us, despite the fact that we step outside His righteousness to establish our own standard in this dilemma. Satan can only be successful when those who profess to belong to and have the mind of Christ lean on their own understanding and refuse to acknowledge God's desire for us to be reconciled to one another.
Everything that is of God is under attack by Satan, so dissolution of marriages/families has no special strategic importance for his work in the world. He exists to kill, steal, and destroy. He really wants to turn the hearts of human beings away from loving and obeying God (to destroy our marital relationship with God).
However, the truth is that Satan has no power to succeed unless we as human beings step away from and outside the principles and precepts that God set before us. To do so is the same thing that Adam and Eve did. They embraced a pseudo-truth found in human reasoning and fleshly desire. Satan's part was only to expose the human lust through the temptation. Sin was conceived when they yielded to the temptation. Death then took place as they stepped away from God. Our responsibility is to seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness so that we can receive all the good things in life that God has in store for us.
Our hurt and the destruction of marital relationships and families is rooted in sin (no matter what form it may take) and the fact that we expect people to be perfect and beyond reproach in every aspect of their lives and their relationship with us. This is done without realistically considering and fully realizing what we do in our relationship with God. The failure to consider our own actions is self righteousness at its best.
I have done my part to destroy my marital relationship under the laws of humankind, but I also have taken the steps to right that relationship. "Confession is good for the soul" when it is accompanied by genuine and sincere repentance. Psalm 51 is a pattern to follow because it centers around and leads us to restoring a right relationship with God. It deals with personal wrongdoing or sin. He asked, "Restore unto me the joy of your salvation..., then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will be converted to you." There is nothing like a restored relationship with God. It overshadows the hurt of a failed human relationship. A part of you may be missing (that human relationship), but the best part remains (the right relationship with God). Believe me for the sake of Christ. I understand it personally and know it well.
Healing will take place when we learn to consider our own selves with genuine humility, seek God's counsel sincerely, turn away from all ungodly counsel at all times (even if it comes from within our own heads and hearts), love sacrificially and unconditionally, and forgive regularly. He keeps us in complete peace when we stay connected to and focused on him.
It is better to die in the will of God than to live outside it. Jesus said, "Not my will, but thine be done." As a result, he experienced not only the shame of the cross and death, but also the joy and power of resurrection. Consider the testimony of the song "He Touched Me."
"He touched me. Yes, he touched me. And Oh, the joy that floods my soul. Something happened, and now I know. He touched me and made me whole."

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Permalink Reply by BGI Member Services on December 4, 2010 at 2:51pm

Amen! Could not have said it any better. People are making decisions regarding their relationships without truly understanding the underlying issues and what could be at the root of those underlying issues.

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Permalink Reply by betty barbee on December 6, 2010 at 5:30am

YOU'RE SO RIGHT I'M GOING THROUGH A SITUATION RIGHT NOW EXACTLY THE SAME THING YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BUT I'M GLAD THAT I KNOW GOD FOR MYSLEF AND THROUGH HIM ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IF YOU BELIEVE SO I'VE DECIDED TO TURN A DEATH EAR TO ALL OF THE GOSSIP AND LIES THAT COMES MY THER IS NONE NO GREATER THAN HE I'M A STRONGER BELIEVER AND IF ITS TRUE HE WILL REVIEL IT IT'S IN THE WORD
OH YEA OF LITTLE FAITH I MADE YOU AND I WILL TAKE OF YOU UNTIL THE END OF TIME I'M GOING TO STAND BY MY HUSBAND BECAUSE THROUGH IT GOD HAS THE FINAL SAY SO AND IT'S GOOD TO KNOW HIM IN YOUR TIMES OF TRIUBLE HEARTACHES AND PAINHE'LL SEE YOU THROUGH BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE DOES

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Permalink Reply by BGI Member Services on December 6, 2010 at 7:03am

Praise GOD for your wisdom Betty. You have done a wise thing by eliminating the voices around you. Gossip and rumors are NOT of GOD. HE wants nothing but the best for you. This is a process and in time GOD will reveal all he wants you to be aware of, but first you must purge yourself and focus on GOD. Pray for your husband and ask GOD to protect him. Then remove unwise counsel from your inner circle. That could mean those closest to you. Keep them at a distance. Love them, but recognize that they may be leaning on their own understanding when they try to give you advice. They are relying on the flesh and the advice they give will come from the flesh. And as we already know... the flesh is the WRONG place to lean on for understanding because that is where Satan has a field day pushing buttons. Any unGODLY relationship you have... you must remove it from your life. It does NOT mean you are a bad person. But if you want real healing inwardly you must begin to honestly remove the speck in your eye so you can come into complete understanding. When that happens, you will never be the same! Be Blessed!

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