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I know that it can't be and yet, I think that it is. I'm sad. Christians do not get sad or at least not the Christians that I know. They might have a sad day or they might go through a loss but their faith makes them rise above or does it? And yet even though as far as I know, I am not in bondage to any sin and as far as I know, I am living out the disciplines that I have from the beginning, I am sad. Why has sadness fallen on me? Why do tears pour out uncontrollably from this inner dam? Why does God lead me only to the book of Jeremiah? Did I somehow step outside of His love? Where is my hope? Will my family be loved, protected and cared for? Will I ever be a vehicle that God will use again? Will I ever hear the voice of God again? Will the scriptures burn with life for me again? My mind screams with questions and doubts while my heart testifies that God is true. He is the same today as He was yesterday. His love endures. He does not change. My heart denies that God will ever leave or forsake while my mind and my experience tell a different story. Who will I believe? Who will I believe?

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These are some great questions. I have been feeling down alot. I do not feel that God is speaking to me like he has in the past. I can not figure out what I have done to cut him off. I don't understand how to go back and correct that and move on in his will. I have experienced so many disappointments that my heart feels that it can't be healed. I no longer have a lot of hope. What do I do? I want to hear God's voice again. I want the scriptures to burn with life again but I don't know how to go back.
Sharrell,
As a writer, I have to confess that I didn't want to share this piece of writing. I have never struggled with being sad as I have over the last two years. I know the things that happened that sent me reeling but up until now I really never struggled like this. I have been a Christian for more than twenty five years and we have gone through many things in my family that easily could have sent me into a downward spiral but they didn't. In fact, I went through them and they caused me to hang tighter to God and grow in my faith.
This time I walked through a very difficult situation and had just gotten to the other side when another blow rocked our family bigger than the first. For about six months, I would cry at the drop of a hat. I do not cry easily but I found myself unable to control the tears and the only answers that I got were through music. I am not a musician but suddenly songs would just pop into my head. I knew that God was taking me deeper but I was not hearing from Him in anyway that was familiar. During this time, the only book that I was ever led to read was Jeremiah. It has been a long slow process of coming out of this and I am not there yet but I am starting to come out.
Writing has always been my thing and I am very honest in my writing. It has always been an outlet and expression of the lessons that God is teaching me. But for the last two years, I have written very little. My writing didn't altogether dry up but it has been difficult for me to write.For about two weeks, I have been struggling with something that I want to write and I just can't get it together. The message seems to be half there. It is interesting that you mentioned about not having alot of hope because when this piece finally comes together it will be about hope.
This morning God spoke to me about writing what I posted here. I discovered that part of my problem is that I have been wanting my thoughts to be wrapped in a pretty package instead of just writing the truth of the struggle. I wrote these thoughts more as a journal entry than a piece of writing to share but then, I knew that I was suppose to share the raw undressed up words here. One of the clear messages that God is revealing to me through this dark place is that Christians need to be real and quit trying to cover up the truth of their struggles and doubts. Even when we are faithless, God is faithful.
I do know one thing. You didn't do anything to cut God off. If you had, you would be able to pinpoint what it is. Sometimes, God allows us to go into these dark places because He is speaking a new message to us and we have trouble hearing it because we haven't learned how to listen to the new message. It is a time of wrestling with God. Interestingly when you wrestle, you have to hold on. Keep reading God's word even if it doesn't burn and find other ways to connect. I have watched more TBN over the last two years than I have in my entire Christian experience because I have been desperate to hear from God. And He has spoken to me through very unexpected avenues.
God is taking you to a deeper place and that is never easy but it will be so worth the struggle. You will have a richness to your walk that couldn't have been achieved any other way.

Blessings,
Darlene
Darlene

I'd buy your book in a heart beat...I sense that you are onto something very precious and weighty that will have far reaching impact in God's kingdom. You have substance, never let it go! Before we can be blessed, first comes the test.

Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted. [Matthew 5:4]

Father's Love,
Mel
Dear Darlene

You must know how much God loves you even when you can't feel it. That becomes one of the acid tests of our faith; when all of the feelings are gone and when we can no longer muster up the emotions of our prior experiences.

We have to remember it was not our feelings that saved us in the 1st place. It was Jesus.

We all have periods of sadness and despair. In proper balance, sadness is just like all the other human emotions that also have their place within the scope of our humanity.

There are lots of reasons for sadness ranging from spiritual, emotional, physical and even to psychological. You probably already know that happiness is passing and extremley temporary. Most have identified happiness with 'happenings.' However as a child of God we are entitled to something much greater than happiness; something that has the power to even overshadow our deepest places of sadness. It's called "JOY'

I want you to know that I have been personally acquainted with sadness, the blues and even depression in my life but my personal experience has been that nothing can ever take my joy away.

My joy is not a feeling but a reality; it is a given; a known; a truth that is founded on faith in what God has spoken to us in His word. My Joy surpasses what's happening around me because it is tied to Christ rather than my circumstances. It keeps me grounded; it keeps me going; it keeps me serving and it keeps me period.

There was a time when I felt guilty about ever being depressed until I found out how many biblical heroes of faith also had experienced the very same thing! Now, whenever I feel sadness it confirms that I am human and it confirms that I am not in heaven yet. As long as it doesn't linger too long or as long as it doesn't disrupt or distract me from my purpose or strike out against my joy then i don't get overly concerned. I've learned to even change the channel of my focus and what I place my attention on as well.

Sometimes though, there are very practical things we need to do to include: spending time with family and good friends; resting; relaxing; enjoying hobbies; challenges; service; fitness; exercise and even taken prescribed medication if recommended by doctors. There are numeroous things that can help to get us out of extended seasons of sadness and depression. Don't ignore medical professionals; they too are a gift from God.

So, even though you are experienceing sadness, my encouragement to you is that you can still take hope in your joy. If you've ruled out all the things that could possibly short circuit your joy and cause you to feel sad then maybe yours just need a good stiring up.

Certainly my studies do not exaust all that God has to say to us about His Joy but I'll like to share with you what I recently put together for my own personal study and ministry.
I hope this study blesses you and if so please feel free to pass it on to someone else.


SAY ‘YES’ TO UNSPEAKABLE JOY


1. Christ came for YOUR JOY:

Joh 10:10 -
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.


2. Christ died for YOUR JOY:


Heb 12:2 -
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.


3. Joy is your INHERITANCE:


Hebrews 9:15-18
15 And for this cause he is the mediator of the new testament, that by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions that were under the first testament, they which are called might receive the promise of eternal inheritance. 16 For where a testament is, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator. 17 For a testament is of force after men are dead: otherwise it is of no strength at all while the testator liveth.


4. There’s JOY in the word of God:

Joh 15:11
These things have I spoke
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I do know that God isn't different just because I can't feel Him and that is what kept me hanging on and looking for answers. This has been a hard place but I know that it is a useful place. God doesn't waste our struggles they are always purposeful. You are a blessing! Pastor Mel
Darlene, my sister, we are human first and foremost and we have yet to overcome this world in our humanness. However, I don't think that it is abnormal to be sad as a Christian. How can we show happiness when darkness is all around? When I think about the state of the world today, I, too, am saddened. Sometimes, our very soul will cry and it is a sadness rooted deeply in our spirit for the lost of this world, feeling inadequate in our indiviual ministries. We can't explain everything that goes on spiritually especially when it is revealed in the physical realm. God is always near to us. There is nothing, no man or woman, that can separate us from His love. In our darkest time we must be still and know. Be steadfast, unmovable and abounding in His love.
Thank you so much for this word. It has really encouraged me in so many ways. This has shown me that there is some hope for me. I need to just stay open to GOD !!!
Sharrell, the best place to be to feel Him is in his word. Just go to the scriptures and begin there. My brother's favorite passage of scripture was the 91st Psalm. He got a great deal of comfort just by reading it. Sometimes we need to be reminded no matter how big our problems are they are still under His feet. Take heart, God is not done with you yet. As one of the BGI members expressed, the tests must come. It is preparation for the next thing God is going to do in our lives. Be encouraged!
We are human. And it is human for us to dwell in these emotions from time to time. If we let them overtake us then that is possibly a sin. We always have a way out. God provides that for us. Living in it and believing in it can be easier siad than done. We know these scriptures because we've said them to others. But what about saying them to ourselves? How do we make ourselves believe joy is coming? Sometimes we have to force it. And by forcing it out of the way, it's gone. We then gain a new skill- determination. Once you are determined to do something, you can do anything. I have had to say it to myself when I feel my inner self bring out the pity party decorations. Make your inner self put those decorations up and bring out something else to party with. ;-)
We are human. And it is human for us to dwell in these emotions from time to time. If we let them overtake us then that is possibly a sin. We always have a way out. God provides that for us. Living in it and believing in it can be easier siad than done. We know these scriptures because we've said them to others. But what about saying them to ourselves? How do we make ourselves believe joy is coming? Sometimes we have to force it. And by forcing it out of the way, it's gone. We then gain a new skill- determination. Once you are determined to do something, you can do anything. I have had to say it to myself when I feel my inner self bring out the pity party decorations. Make your inner self put those decorations up and bring out something else to party with. ;-)

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